Life, the Universe and Everything

I used to use this independent little Citroen garage. You know the sort of place - totally chaotic - but cheap. Frank, the chief mechanic used to greet me with "Wotcha Mate" and if a sphere (of which my Citroen had five) was f*cked, he'd say "It's f*cked!" Then it started to change. Frank left and the junior mechanic started greeting me with "Can I help you Sir?". The bugger had obviously been on a course! And the hourly rate was higher. But still their main source of replacement parts was various heaps around the workshop. They merged, It got tidy And the hourly rate was higher. They expanded and moved Now they have a reception area with a tropical fish tank. Real fish too although they don't look it. And the hourly rate is higher.

Jeff was opening the Counseling Centre post when Damien, one of the newer staff put his head round the door. "Hi Damien!" said Jeff brightly, "you look hungover - Wendy's bash was a 'success' then?" "Sort of" said Damien a little quietly, "Wendy, Bruce and I ended up at that new club by the station"" "I've heard it's wild?" "It is - but something rather confusing happened." "Oh?" "This gorgeous woman was there." "They do tend to gather in clubs, I believe," said Jeff brightly. "Absolutely stunning - way out of my league." "Hmm." "Then Bruce pointed out that the woman kept looking at me and told me I'd 'pulled'." "Really!" "Well, I didn't believe him at first but after a bit I decided to go and try my luck." Jeff nodded. "I introduced myself and suggested we go outside where it would be quieter." ...

Apologies to anyone who tried to post comments and got an error message. I've spoken firmly to the electrons and promised them some extra bosons They should be better behaved now :-)

My friends are in competition to be more nutty than me. Sometimes they succeed. Just tonight, I mentioned to a friend that I don't have a TV. She immediately suggested I get a microwave as a substitute - cheaper too. So I said I'd heard that some microwaves had turntables - so I could get moving pictures just like on a real TV. She pointed out that eventually, a microwave goes DING and stops. So that got me wondering if there were TV programmes on some obscure network that made the TV look like it was a microwave cooking food? And did the programmes finish with a DING and the light going out? That's when she had the temerity to suggest I was mad Me: 1 Friends: 0