Life, the Universe and Everything

A few days ago, the NHS and the Prime Minister put out a call for 250,000 volunteers to "help  up to 1.5 million people who have been asked to shield themselves from coronavirus because of underlying health conditions" There's been an enormous response, they've got twice as many volunteers as they asked for and at a guess, 3-4 times as many as they hoped for. The job of organising everything has been given to Royal Voluntary Service which older readers will remember as the WRVS. This is probably a good choice as with their background in providing "Meals On Wheels" there's a lot about the current mission that they should thoroughly understand. It's noteworthy that one of the roles they want  volunteers for is to make phone calls to people isolated by COVID-19, a role that can be open to just about everyone - including those whose health or disability precludes rushing around delivering food. Perhaps the most significant challenge will be coping ...

I'm not 70 but the official advice is for me to act like I am. Normally (as regular readers will know) I do a lot of dancing but in the current circumstances, I intend to slightly expand my other form of exercise - walking. This is usually solitary anyway, I'm a bit of a random explorer. and if I'm careful about "social distance", I can keep physically and mentally fit enough to give me the best chance of coming through the crisis without endangering anyone else. So my first walk a couple of days ago was over the lower slopes of Wickridge Hill near Stroud. The first challenge was the approach of an unruly child on a scooter complete with parent. Fortunately the road was wide enough that I could just cross over. Next, I met two greyhounds leading humans. Everybody moved to their side of the road so that was fine. On to narrow wooded steep path. The first thing I did was pause, squint up the path and listen to detect anyone else coming the other way. That was OK...

Down at the Virulent Arms, the viruses are gathered for Saturday evening drinks when in walks COVID-19. There’s a sudden hush, broken only by a sarcastic cough from the Chief Virus. “What have you been doing lately young virus?”   She asks, “Quite a lot!” says COVID-19, “I started in China, moved on to Italy, tomorrow, the World! I’m having a great time spreading everywhere!” “I hear you’ve been killing a lot of humans?” COVID-19 looked a little embarrassed. “Well, yes, I know that’s not a good idea because I don’t spread from a dead body   but despite that, I’m spreading really fast so it doesn’t matter! The Chief Virus sighed. “Changing the subject completely, have you seen your Uncle Smallpox lately?” “No, I heard he’d got stuck in a vault somewhere and isn’t in the wild anymore?” “And why did the humans do that to him?” “Well, he killed a lot of them and some bloke called Jenner invented vaccination and they ganged up and … Oh dear!” “...